I sit here watching Eat Pray Love and it makes me think. I know that I would love to have that sort of journey to search my way through my life, my passion and what I am meant to do. What am I meant to be or to have? I know there is something in me that has made the decision to be a writer, as it was my dream, but there is something more than just a dream that I want to have in my life. There is so much of me that feels I am not in the right place at all. I don’t know if that means I need to have some sort of journey like this that takes me to some different locations that will allow me to search out my true connection of life. I mean, I can continue to write freelance from wherever I am, and I could possibly take on travel writing while I am on the go. How simple could I make my life in general?
What am I able to learn from some of these different books that I read and movies that I watch? There is so much out there in life to be learned and to learn from, that I realize I want to see a great amount of the world and I haven’t event stirred the pot. I’ve barely visited a few places in this part of the country. Do I really want to make it through my life with that minimal of a life experience having passed through my veins?
Who will I be able to meet? What will I be able to see? There has to be somewhere better for me than Cincinnati. I simply don’t feel like I fit here. There are so many reasons that would just cloud up this blog, but there is something more that I can see in myself that just doesn’t exist here. I have stayed here for one reason, and that is because my son is still here. Soon he will be going off to college. I won’t really have a reason that ties me down to this city any longer. Should I take the freedom? Should I take control of my life and launch out?
I guess there will be more to this question as the next 12 months pass. My son will soon enough finish his senior year of high school and graduate. I will continue to be the ‘black sheep’ of my family? Most likely. But with the discovery of my self I will be able to let all of that go and realize that my own life for myself will be the most important factor. I can only hope that my son on his own will know how much I love him. Let’s see what happens next!