Any True Value to Online Dating?

These may sound like the rantings of a bitter and cynical woman, so negative a view of the potential for love that I believe nothing is possible… but there is much to be seen in what I am about to say.

All of those advertisements for the online dating websites that are out there, and their guarantee to help provide everyone with their perfect match? What is there honestly to be believed… other than the fact that they pull in an amazing profit each month from those individuals desperately seeking an easy way to find a partner in life.  online dating 2

I have tried some of them a few times, whether it be the free trials or the short-term subscriptions. There is no real solution as to the ability to look at some image and profile of another human being on the internet and feel that spark that comes when you get that instant attraction toward someone you know may have true potential. And I’m SO SORRY, but how can you honestly be sure to believe everything posted in those profiles that are meant to be the life tales of others looking for that perfect lifelong match.

I wonder where the truth of these possibilities comes into play. In a period of about five years now making an attempt at these sites off and on, there has only been one short-term relationship found in the process. I will admit that he was a nice guy with a life similar to mine, but it burnt out quicker than the living room lamp from the exhausted professional ready to go to bed after a 12-hour day in the office followed by networking events and heavy traffic. There is no need for me to believe that there is any true passionate flame to be found simply by looking at a small group of photos and reading a brief little profile. online dating 1

Plus, I will admit it myself… I haven’t even updated my profile photos on those online dating sites in years. I’m just not that interested in it, and my personal theory is that if someone really wants to get to know me they will do so in person and make their final decision from there. However, at this point I have done some of my own research on this subject. With a couple of short subscriptions and seeking out the options of actually meeting someone with true potential I have been stood up for two lunch dates to meet someone I had already texted over the phone. I was blown off twice by one individual who came up with some pretty basic reasons not to meet me for lunch, but then very quickly disappeared from communication completely. Additionally, there were at least two individuals whom I gave a decent chance with an initial meeting, only to find their personalities lacking in the thrill described in the online dating profiles. My resolution is as follows: Honesty is completely lacking online. There is no reason to believe that the lifetime, solid, supportive and happy relationship can be built from a simple online meeting.


Increasing Levels of Discrimination and Sexual Harassment Today

It’s hard to say where the key points all lie, but with the increasing number of news stories over the past 4 or 5 years there is something to be said about the recent women bringing to light stories of sexual harassment in the workplace. Whether they are stories of actors and directors coming onto the women around them, or other situations where it is a standard office place, there is something about this that states a step backward culturally for our country in the equality of women.discrimination

With discrimination of many factors, there is always the risk in the workplace between colleagues, from a superior and more. We are such a society immersed in the evils played out against one another, focused on the “news” spread about like jam to enhance the flavor of life. There seems to be nothing more important than the dirt shared regarding all of the lawsuits from one leading actor or director, a politician against a woman who only wanted to improve her career. Think of the historical racial issues that plagued this country less than a century ago. And now it seems as though there is the ability for anyone to demean the quality of another’s life. 

So many years ago, we had women who came together for many gains of independence, gaining the right to vote late in the 18th century to the further roles played in the Underground Railroad and Introduction of Feminism in the 19th century. Things have continued to grow and develop for women, though there seems to be something about the way that men of power and wealth seem to attempt to push us back down. of all the basic stories of rape and misconduct that appear in the news on a weekly basis, in addition to all of the nationally highlighted cases like one of our former presidents, actor Bill Cosby and now Harvey Weinstein. It’s amazing to question how many more may be out there without being exposed by their victims. While it may not always be as serious as rape, there is always the offense of attempting to overcome someone with power that is simply upheld by the belief that he is of the stronger or greater sex. sexual harassment

There was once a reference to women as “the weaker sex” and the more we fought back against that, the more events took place to build our stature and equality. I wonder about all of those women throughout the past centuries who organized so many women’s rights events, the colleges and meetings that they put together to convince other women all over the country and world that they were worth more than the role of wives and mothers in their homes and families. Do we need women to redeem that message again? Has it become somewhat forgotten? Maybe it is time for us to come together, even if it’s online and then reinvent the wheel.


Has Internet Taken Over Our Lives?

I often wonder if internet has become the sole resource in our lives, and when I want to answer that question all I can really do is look at my own life. I know that there are plenty of opportunities to maintain the physical and reality of life, such as shopping in real stores and reading real books, but I wonder how much more often do we all handle those things online? internet 4

I know that as a writer, especially in the freelance sector, I do most of my research online and do basically all of my communicating with clients online. I look for new projects online, keep up with customers on Skype, seek out resources for articles through every search engine available, and create and publish all of my work digitally. I don’t think I can remember the last time I printed a piece of paper and sent it out in the mail.

I know that I pay all of my bills online. I haven’t even ordered a book of checks in at least two or three years. I’ve been slowly transferring all of my accounts to complete digital communication, so that my bills, statements and all reports are sent via email. I know that most of the mail I get from the mailman are pieces that I throw immediately in the garbage. internet 3

Does everyone live a digital life like me? Does everyone rely almost completely on their computers just like I do? I know that I don’t go to an office and that I may rely a little more on the digital workplace than some others, but the basic everyday life I handle is more digital than I ever would have imagined back when I was a young child.

I think about the fact that so much of my friendly communication relies upon social media, and the fact that I think the only people I ever call on the telephone are my parents and son. Pretty much everything else are direct Facebook and Twitter messages, emails, Skype, text, and every other possible digital message out there. I don’t think I even bother looking at what number is calling my home line now, since I know that no one I care about would even know that number! laptops and tablets

So, I guess the final question would be whether or not there is any point in attempting to return to a greater physical reality over the digital world we live in so much these days. I figured that no matter how much I try, there will still be a primary focus on online, digital communication throughout life, including use of online systems for professional networking and maintaining connections with friends. I have to maintain, like I state in another one of my posts, that the one online point of life where I will not rely on the internet is my dating and romantic life. I want to meet that person in real, everyday life. If that doesn’t happen, then there isn’t someone for me at all.

What Is the TRUE Value of Fast Food? Those $1 Menus and Other Specials are not Necessarily Savings…

I know that there is a great value at times to the saving of time and money when avoiding the cooking time in the kitchen or cleaning after a big family meal. But what are we really saving ourselves from when we use fast food to replace those traditional family meals.

 One of the most incredible factors is all of the marketing that is completed on television, online and more regarding the value of the most popular fast food restaurants. With the minimal priced meals that are offered, such as “4 for $4” or “5 for $5”, we are all pulled away from the attention to our own health and wellness to the price savings that can be found in the purchase of immediate and tastily fulfilling meals. dollar menu

 So, where do we go from here when there is the urgent need for that tasty little meal while that aching threat of ailment hangs in the back of our minds? I know I make it sound way too overwhelming, and we all know that fast food is generally unhealthy, but we have to know that there are also plenty of options available from where we can resolve both issues with a single choice. There must be that one meal which is healthy enough for the whole family that will not appear as complete slime writhing down your children’s throats, but will also reduce the amount of cooking and cleaning time that comes along with so many of those meals ‘round the table.

I know that I don’t necessarily have the expertise or complete knowledge to present nutritional requirements or expectations upon the population of the world. I know that we all have the ability to remain responsible for our own decisions, take care of our own bodies and improve a physical condition with activity and healthy lifestyle overall. There is so much that we are able to do for ourselves while it may be difficult to pass by those tempting, drug-like drive throughs which make our family meals so much easier.

I know what I want to think of life as a whole… There is a great deal of control that can be taken upon our own daily lives without paying a dietician, personal trainer or other to help with weight loss, disease or other issues that we have brought upon ourselves by years of eating detrimental foods. The first steps all the way through the end are those of our own. We have the option for a better life, and we have the right. I know that I want to do it for myself, and I am willing to learn about some of those options for all of you.


Are We Ready for the Stay-at-Home Dad?

There is so much to think of the potential for stay-at-home dads now in the 21st century. There is so much to be respected in a man who is willing to stay home without a career, or at least making a career of raising his children and caring for the home. I wonder if I would ever be that brave, especially considering my doubt and fear in marriage. There is so much to consider in relying one hundred percent on someone else for financial support when there is always the possibility that a relationship can end at the drop of a hat.  

I think that there is so much more about myself that had the willingness to handle both sides of parenthood, caring for my son, my home, my career and every ounce of life all on my own. I don’t think I was ever brave enoughdad 2 to rely on someone else completely to handle another part of my life. So, after centuries of male family leadership, there are now men who are willing to rely upon a strong and supporting woman to handle some of those more dependent family issues.

I can only see an image of what it may be like for a young father, who has let his wife keep her career out of the house, attempt to manage all of the in-home chaos that can come with raising children and caring for all those daily tasks that would drive even me insane. I even find working at home alone all day sometimes to be the most chaotic and crazy tasks, as I am definitely not a domestic individual by nature. When it comes to tasks such as cleaning the dishes or laundry, or vacuuming the rugs, I know that I can become more frustrated and angry than I ever did in an office working for a boss.

There is something about being at home that makes me feel like I have less control odad 3ver what I am trying to do than every minute I ever spent in an office career where every minute of my day was planned out by someone else. I know that there is something about men thinking they need to be in control of every part of their life, and I can definitely respect any one of them who is willing to relinquish this much control to someone else… especially to a woman. 

Am I brave enough to relinquish control myself? I know I always wonder if I will meet someone, but I think that so many men can see this about me. That I need to control my life and that I have basically always been this way. Hell, I even admire women who have been brave enough throughout the centuries to trust and depend upon another individual to handle all of those essential pieces of a life together. Why can’t I do that? Why are there now men who are able to do just that and I am still holding on so tightly to control of my own life? dad 4

I know that I initially started writing about stay-at-home dads and I have wandered over to the discussion of all stay-at-home parents completely. We like to think that there is something convenient in the ability to work from home while also staying home with our children. But it can be a tough and scary world out there. So many options to work from home are complete crap, and others don’t want to pay crap.


Literature for the Woman

I sometimes wonder what the most educational experience of my collegiate and professional career has been. My greatest love has always been learning more about literature and experiencing all corners of the literary field from different perspectives, especially from women and those who have been willing to break historical barriers with their work. Over the years I have most grown to love the works of Erica Jong, both after and before many others who were willing to fight the traditions of American culture and politics. fear of flying - erica jong

I wonder if I could achieve the greatness as a writer as I have seen from women such as Erica Jong and many other historically great poets and authors that we studied in courses in college. Is it as easy to reach the mind of others with the written word as it once was? Do I have the talent and skills that I believe I have gained through education, desire and practice? It is amazing to hear of the incredible success of Erica Jong’s first novel Fear of Flying when she was a little younger than I am now and creating a novel from the same perspective that she took with her main character as her own doppelganger. I know that several of my novel topics are based off of the various intriguing life experiences that I have ventured, hoping that I may be able to touch the lives of other women across the world with enterwomen in littainment, emotion and inspiration..

The word Feminism rises into the conversation when the question of women’s lives and ventures are being discussed. I don’t know if I would consider myself a feminist or not, but I know that I do believe in the ideals of women and their right to own and be everything that their male family, friends and colleagues are. I know there are so many questions to the equality of the sexes professionally, including the creative sciences, and I hope that I have the potential to achieve the same greatness as any male author in history, as well as the female authors I love. I love to think that I have the ability to move forward to the greatness of any male or female writer that I love, and that is more than simple feminism. We all have the right to wonderful careers, and any young woman can make the choice to move ahead for herself. know that all women have this right in their careers, no matter what their chosen path, and I was so happy for my aunt to hear recently at dinner that due to the President of her University re-evaluating equality across the board for their professors that she would be getting a thirty percent raise and increased benefits. It’s not just about being a woman in a certain field, but about the field of study, and we all deserve to be treated on the same plane. I love it! I can only hope the same for myself and all other women, although I do know that in my writing ventures I will have to play a huge role in my advancements for myself. Take advantage, all of you, and follow your dreams to the full end!